Sunday, July 14, 2013

BIG NEWS

I'm consolidated all of my blogs/sites into ONE place! Head over to Sarcastic-Parenting and update your bookmarks!

http://www.sarcastic-parenting.com/

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Rape Culture

This is going to have a few personal moments.


I had a thought this morning about the whole idea of Rape Culture. Why are people so hesitant to change the standard? Why don't we talk about it? (Other than it's a tough subject) Why do people want to blame the woman? I actually don't believe it's an anti-woman thing.

We don't want to admit that we've been part of it.

I've heard said recently that instead of "no means no" we should teach "yes means yes and everything else means no." I love that. However, it's meeting some difficulty in society. Why? Why is that so hard?

By changing how we view consent, it makes rape a lot more common.

Scary, right?

If we change it to "if she didn't actively say yes then it's rape" there's a whole bunch of men that have take a hard look at their sexual encounters. What about that girl that didn't seem too into it but didn't say no? What about the girl that said "I'm not sure..." and then didn't say anything again?

When I lost my virginity (too young) it all happened too fast and I wasn't 100% sure. But I never said no. Was I raped? Do you have any idea how hard that thought is to process? It's hard to think about it as an active decision (I never said no so I wanted it...right?) but it's even more painful to think about it with the word "rape" attached.

See, we don't want to think about it in that way. We, as a society, need to think about rape as a random act of violence. We need to think that it's not THAT common and if we stay sober, stay to the lights, and keep our pepper spray handy it won't happen to us. But if we change the terms, if we change the way of thinking about it, then I'd be willing to bet it HAS happened to many of us already.

So that's why we keep hearing "she never said no" (no matter that she was passed out) or whatever. Society is holding on to the belief that it can't happen to them. I hate to be the one to burst bubbles...but it probably already has. We need to grieve, heal, and teach the next generation better.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Unique Parenting Advice

You read all of the books. You visit the websites. You make friends and soak up every bit of advice you can...

And then you have kids and it all blows out of the water!!

I do want you to take this little piece of advice, though. Whether you co-sleep or not, it's useful to know. It's especially useful in toddlerhood.

Ready?

HAVE A MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BED-CHANGE PLAN!

We've been battling a stomach bug around here. It seems to hit my youngest at night more than anything. When we were on vacation it was fine if he puked in the bed because someone ELSE would change the sheets. Now that we're home? It's up to the adults in the house! And we aren't dealing with puke anymore....think diaper blow-outs. They're gross when you're talking breastfed baby...they're trauma inducing when it's a toddler!! *shudder*

My husband and I have gotten pretty good at doing the change quickly at night. It came to us naturally. If that's you then that's great! If not, keep reading! There is hope!

1) Have extras of everything where everyone knows how to find them.
You want a change of clothes for EVERYONE (even if you don't co-sleep. Sometimes the mess will get on your PJs by transfer) If it's especially bad I'd recommend TWO of everything. Have an extra set of sheets at the ready. Know where that extra comforter is stored. Trust me, you might need it all.
(Last night's incident involved poop up to his shoulders. I wish I were exaggerating)

2) Assign the parents.
There's the "Child Parent" and the "Bed Parent" in my house. The CP takes the kid and focuses on cleaning him up. The BP focuses on getting the linens changed/washing and makes the bed. Whichever parent finishes FIRST helps the other if they need it.

3) Have clean-up supplies. 
Those old towels you want to throw out? Perfect for this job!! Who cares if they're stained beyond recognition afterwards? You were going to toss them anyway. If you use disposables (we have been at night) keep those plastic grocery bags handy. Keep your wipes handy as well.

It sounds simple because it really is...but in the middle of the night things can get jumbled and confused if you don't have a good plan in place. The first few times we had to do this I tried to do everything (because that's how I am) when I should have let my husband help!

Do you have a plan? When was the last time you had to change sheets in the middle of the night?

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

My VoxBox Reviews

I was given the products to sample and review by the Influenster. :) I am not affiliated with the companies in any way and the reviews in this blog are my own.


I was hungry when I opened the box so I tried the SkinnyGirl bar first.

It was SO YUMMY! I was hesitant at first because of the "coco-nut" title (I don't care for shredded coconut in foods) but it was more sweet peanut butter than anything.
I'm not crazy about the large amounts of soy in them...or the low protein count. It was yummy but not really all that nutritious.

VERDICT: It tastes really good, but I wouldn't order any.

I washed my hair that night and figured it was a good time to try the "Not Your Mother's Texturizing Spray."

It smelled like coconut (I like the smell, not the taste). It was very Pina Colada. I have big waves naturally in my hair and it's currently cut short so I didn't have high hopes for it working in my hair.

I was pleasantly surprised!



VERDICT:  It made my hair smell nice and the waves actually worked. I'd say it would work better if you have longer hair.


Olay Fresh Effects came next.

It's a set that comes with a battery operated scrubber and face wash. It did make my face feel clean and smooth.

VERDICT: Yes, it worked, but I wasn't a fan of how it felt to use it. I can be a bit tactile defensive and the plastic scrubbers vibrating didn't feel good.


Secret Stress Response.

I took this on vacation to Arizona! I used it every day. Normally, I sweat like a pig (seriously, it can be gross) but this really helped.

VERDICT: It kept me dry even walking around in the heat. I didn't have to worry about sweat marks or smell on vacation!


I really really loved the products in this box! I'm excited for my next one.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Dear Children

My Dearest Children,

I love you. I really do...but there are a few things you need to know.

1) I don't like it when your face is so close to mine.


No really, I can see how sad you are without you getting 2 inches away. Getting nose to nose with me will NOT make me suddenly give in to your demands. I love you SO MUCH but I can love you and cuddle you with a few inches of space after a sweet baby kiss.


2) I'm not trying to ruin all of your fun in life.


The FEW rules that I have are usually for safety. I know it's super fun to scale the dresser...but it's not safe and you just don't seem to realize that. I get that you didn't get *really* hurt the last time you fell doing something I SPECIFICALLY said not to...but that doesn't mean it's a safe activity.

3) When I tell you not to eat something it's REALLY for your own good.


I know you want Scooby Snack treats and bread and gummy snacks and a myriad of things that you've eaten before but now can't have. I'm SORRY! I know you feel better (you act better) when I'm strict with your diet. When you're old enough to make the connection we'll talk again. Until then, however, I control your foods.

4) There is no Parent Eating Monster in the bathroom


It's okay to let Mommy and Daddy go alone...really.


Anything you'd like to tell your kids? Anything you relate to on here? Share with us!!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

GUILTy Party

Guilt. We've all dealt with it...some of us to greater degrees than others.

Honestly, every therapist/counselor I've ever visited asks the same question at some point in our sessions... "Have you felt guilt about anything lately?" It's rude to burst out laughing (and it makes me look crazy) but I always end up making a scoffing noise of some kind. Why? Because I'm one of those people that seems to carry guilt around constantly.

It's not just over the big things. I remember little mistakes I made, lies I told, etc from many many years ago. They'll rear their ugly heads randomly and I'll get a wash of guilt.


Well last night this little acronym came to me. It's a simple way to change focus in the moment. So, the next time you feel like the GUILTy Party just remember...

G od
U nderstands
I' m
L ess
T han
-
P erfect

It's not an exact matchup to the letters but it works. I vow to try to use it this week anytime guilt rises in me. I want you to do the same.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Medicated American...and Proud.

I have officially been a Medicated American for over a month now.

And I'm darn proud of it.

My anxiety is much more manageable. Yes, I still get overwhelmed but I hear that's normal. I don't get overwhelmed and then spiral into a vast pit of despair. I don't freak out when the kids freak out. I haven't had chest pains in WEEKS.

My dreams are WEIRD but that's okay. I've gotten a few creative plots written down for future use thanks to odd dream sequences. My creativity is back up.

I only had a few weeks of adjustment issues. For about 2 weeks everything tasted bland. I think that was the one symptom I wasn't prepared to handle. I could only eat spicy things for that period...and then I got my wisdom teeth removed shortly thereafter. It's been a funny time diet wise.

My PMDD hasn't been as bad this month. I'm only symptomatic a few days before starting my cycle as opposed to the usual 10. 3-4 days of a short temper and junk food cravings? Totally tolerable!


I know a lot of people disagree with medication...but it is one of the best decisions I've made lately. I feel like a better parent. I can ACTUALLY PARENT instead of just reacting to my surroundings. It's wonderful. I feel wonderful.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

My Wisdom on Wisdom Teeth

HA! I'm in the mood for a cheesy title.

Recently I finally got my wisdom teeth removed...a good 10 years after being told I needed them out.

That's right. My teeth were SIDEWAYS in my head. 
The surgery itself wasn't so bad. My advice if you're doing Twilight Sedation? TAKE MUSIC. I put a bunch of music on my phone and popped in a headphone right before I went under. I remember little bits of the surgery (burning from the lidocaine and a few unpleasant sounds) but I mostly remember music. The surgeon and nurses thought it was an awesome idea...so I highly recommend it.

Recovery, on the other hand, was not as a great an experience...

I was prepared for the swelling and general discomfort


My sweet boys.
I wasn't prepared for the bruising.

I swear, officer, it wasn't me in that bar fight.
I also wasn't prepared to get DRY SOCKET.

I did everything right and got it anyway. It turns out, lower impacted wisdom teeth usually get it no matter what you do.

Which means this made up the bulk of my diet for over a week.

No matter how many smoothie recipes you know...you get tired of smoothies. 
I also discovered that this is a discovery I put up there with FIRE for awesomeness and importance.

It tastes like death but it numbs.
I'm finally on the mend. I don't need pain meds like candy. The pain is downgraded to "hurts when it gets poked" instead of "constant throbbing."

That's where I've been the last week and a half. Whew. I'm glad it's over!!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Guilt

I'm feeling a bit guilty today. I know I shouldn't, but I am.

Recently I decided I will NOT be fostering any more dogs until I get my own stuff under control. That hasn't stopped me from checking out the page on Facebook occasionally...

The other day there was a dog that was "my kind" of dog. Older (2-3), Shepherd Mix, Docile, etc... Normally that is the exact dog that I snatch up to foster. But I held back because I CAN'T handle it right now.

I checked back the next day and he got put down.

I know it's not REALLY my fault. I'm not his owner. It isn't up to me to save all the dogs of San Antonio. However, there's that evil little voice in my head that says "You could have saved him."

Thankfully I started my medication yesterday...so these kinds of thoughts will hopefully stop.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Temporary Insanity

Tomorrow I finally go to the doctor about my anxiety issues. This post doesn't need to turn into a discussion about whether or not anxiety is real OR a discussion on why medication isn't the answer. I'm going. I'm trying medication. Period. I did the research and I'd rather deal with dry mouth and headaches than crippling anxiety.

I've been feeling overwhelmed lately.

I want my business to grow but I'm having trouble making time to work that isn't 10pm.

I want to finish my novel but I have the WORST case of writer's block. I stare at a blank screen far too often and that isn't writing the 50,000 words I need. The story is bare bones, novella length right now. I don't want to think that this is the end.

One "fear" I have with overcoming my anxiety is that it will kill my muse forever and I'll never be creative again. Stefan is okay with that (he'd rather I be unpublished and sane) but it's a rough thought.

I'm still trying to find myself. You'd think at almost 26 I'd be somewhat sure of myself, what I like, who I am, etc...but I'm not. I know that people evolve and change, but it's weird and sort of scary.

I need to be more organized. I need my FAMILY to be more organized. I'm sure I wrecked someone's entire day on Sunday when she was just trying to help me all because I didn't double check something. I'm STILL kicking myself because it was a simple, stupid mistake. The experience was a huge splash of cold water and is the reason I won't be fostering any more dogs until I get my own stuff in order.

Sometimes I'm afraid my children will end up just as crazy as I am.

I'm afraid to make friends. I make acquaintances and I'm surprisingly okay with that. True friends means letting your guard down and letting people into those scary places inside yourself. I can't do that. I believe that my husband is the only person that knows me 100%. I have different sets of "friends" that know different things about me, but no one knows everything. That is the way I like it.

Depressing. Anxiety Inducing. Crazy Ramblings over.

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