Saturday, December 18, 2010
Are You Yelling?
I yell...frequently. I hate doing it, I really do. It's one of those things that I really really need to work on changing (Hmm, New Year's Resolution anyone?) I yell at my son. Seriously AT him. I know it's different than yelling and having him understand. It's mostly just yelling in his general direction. Does it stop the behavior? Nope. Does it make ME feel any better? Nope. What do I actually accomplish? I raise my blood pressure and make my son mad.
It's actually Biblical. Proverbs 15:1 (NCV) A gentle answer will calm a person's anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger.
I like the way the New Century Version puts it. It's very plain. The New King James version says A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
So, when my son gets mad and yells back at me it shouldn't come as any surprise...God kind of told me what would happen if I yelled first.
Challenge: The next time your child does something frustrating take a second to pause, repeat the above verse, and FORCE YOURSELF to answer softly and gently. Teach your children to answer each other the same way. Do this for one week and see if you don't notice an improvement in how your children react to you and each other. (Moms of toddlers: You might have to look REALLY HARD for the difference...)