Thursday, December 23, 2010

Feeling Like THAT Mom

This is the first round of "I Confess"

Lately I've felt like THAT mom. You know the one. You whisper comments about her in the grocery store. You roll your eyes at her at the park. You go home and tell your husband, "You'll never believe the mom I saw today!"

The word that is used to describe my son is "spirited." Parents of spirited children usually refer to these children as "AAAHHHHH!!!!! SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?"

If you Google "spirited child" you get a full description of my son:

  • Intensity—meaning greater drama, easier cry response, making more demands on parents.

  • Persistence—gets committed to and stays with ideas, may argue points with parents long after an issue is settled.

  • High Energy Level—also sometimes labeled hyperactive, but many who write on this disorder do not want the term hyperactivity confused with the disorder.

  • Sensitive—may be overly sensitive to sounds, slight discomfort, pictures, and stimuli of all sorts.

  • Difficult Adaptability—may react with greater emotion to changes like attending school, or moving to a new house.

  • Moody—may be more prone to get cranky, but may also be susceptible to and more perceptive of the moods of others.

  • *sigh* Yep, that's Franklin.

    If you don't have a spirited toddler you have NO idea what it's like raising one. Trust me. He's also incredibly bright so that just adds to my frustration. His temperament causes him to be high energy and intense. I KNOW he understands when he's told "no" (because he says, "no no no" when you catch him doing something he's not supposed to do). He knows the rules. He understands complex instructions. (I told him to find me a bowl to give him breakfast in and he searched the room until he found one and then brought it to me)

    As a toddler he lacks impulse control. As a bright child he's inquisitive and constantly exploring and experimenting with his surroundings. As a spirited child he reacts with huge intensity when told "no" and mirrors the frustration of his parents.

    Sometimes, when I've said "no" for the 146876351567 time or spanked him 5 times IN A ROW for the same behavior or fought an hour of screaming and kicking to get him to just go to bed, I feel like I'm a horrible mom. There's always that voice in the back of my mind that says, "You caused this." There's always that voice reminding me that I've seen toddlers/children that are MUCH better behaved. There is always that voice that makes me feel like an utter failure. When I sit here with a peaceful, napping toddler I can calmly tell you that voice is Satan and he's trying to steal my joy and make me feel like my children would be better off in daycare. However, in the heat of the moment? I believe every word he slips into my head.

    I found this Scripture:
    1 Peter 5:8-9 (NCV) Control yourselves and be careful! The devil, your enemy, goes around like a roaring lion looking for someone to eat. Refuse to give in to him, by standing strong in your faith. You know that your Christian family all over the world is having the same kinds of suffering.

    My favorite part is the very last where it reminds me that I'm not alone!

    Be sure and grab the button!

    Do you ever feel like a failure as a parent? Link up below and tell us about it!


    1. I love to put those verse in the context with the preceding 2 verse

      (6-7) "therefore humble yourself before the mighty hand of God, in due time he will lift you up, cast down all your anxiety on him because he cares"

      I have 3 spirited, I call them strong willed little one (3 and under!!!)So I do UNDERSTAND lol

      But I read somewhere that God uses those precious little spirited blessing to refine us, to make us into His image, by working in us He works in them...

      It's a backward way of thinking, by having a strong willed child, we have to learn our-self to be self control and being therefore a example for them

      we need to learn to be slow to anger, so they might learn from us

      we need to learn to be meek and show love and Grace, so that they might learn from us!

      See by changing our attitude we will shape them as God want them to be.

      Ps I guess I sure have lots of refinement to work on, lol, slowly learning to be what He wants me to be, by His Grace and Love.

      And you are not alone:-)

    2. I can't believe you posted this today. I just finished typing a blog about how I wanted a do-over for the day. My Drew is a spirited child too, I know what it's like. It's hard, so hard, and others don't understand. I even had the same thought today, maybe Drew would be better in daycare. Maybe I'm not the best thing for him all day. Oh thank you for posting this. It came at the exact right time!

    3. Alyssa: Oh Mama, I've said those exact words to my husband. I sat on the couch and sobbed that Frankie would be better off in daycare than with me during the day. A few months back he went through this huge violent stage (only toward ME) and I felt like he hated me. It was awful.

    4. I hopped over from MOB today. Your little guy is a toddler and he's a boy and you're NOT alone! And you know the best part? There's grace for us moms when we think we've fallen short.

    5. I came over from the MOB Society too today. I think I have 2 of more severe than the other. The question is...what do we do with them?



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