Friday, May 11, 2012

Does This Mean War?

Sigh. By now everyone has heard about the TIME cover with the mom breastfeeding her 3 year old.

I'm not here to talk about that directly...I've said enough on Facebook.

I'm here to talk about Mommy Wars.

Moms know what I'm talking about here. At least, you should. Have you ever felt judged for your parenting choice? Then you've been part of a Mommy War. It's a stupid thing that pits mothers against each other. Stay at home moms against working moms. Home schooling moms against public schooling moms. Breastfeeders against formula feeders (shouldn't we be glad baby was FED?).

There are even factions within each of these. Fellow breastfeeding moms will turn on each other when asked "How old is too old?" Some home schooling parents feel like a certain STYLE of home schooling is superior. Are you a mom that WORKS at HOME? Chances are you've felt slighted by working and non working moms alike.

Why do we do this?

Being a mother is HARD. Making decisions for your child is HARD. I remember not wanting to admit to anyone that I'd weaned my first son at *gasp* 15 months instead of letting HIM decide. I struggle with giving advice about home schooling because my son actually enjoys structured activities and some parents are against that.

We should support each other. We should hold each other up as awesome because we're all in the same Mommy Tribe. But we don't. We judge. We gossip. We turn up our noses at those that parent differently from us when we should embrace differences as a learning experience (even if it's how you DON'T want to do something). We should base our friendships on whether personalities click and not on whether mom pulls out a breast or bottle to feed her child.

TIME, I take offense to the idea that only those that are "Mom Enough" choose attachment parenting. There is no check-list that makes you the perfect attachment parent. I'm not even crazy about the TERM attachment parent. It pushes parents that don't practice out as "not as attached" to their children when, frankly, that isn't the case.

So stop the Mommy Wars. Find something else to disagree about. Parenting is hard enough.

1 comment:

  1. Well said. I also don't like the term "attachment" parenting. Those that don't do "attachment" parenting aren't any less attached to their children. I use the term natural parenting, because I do what comes natural...to me. These mommy wars are being fueled by the media, and can only stop when us moms say "Enough".

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