Thursday, March 10, 2011

Long overwhelming post

At least it's clean

I'm lacking sleep. Yesterday morning Jonathan decided that 6:30am (when Daddy wakes up) was the official start to the morning. I laid in bed with him, in blatant denial, for about 30 minutes before finally getting up. Last night I was up late cleaning up the house (it had to get done). I didn't crawl into bed until 11pm. Add in my insomnia and it was probably at least 30 minutes before I went to sleep. I was awake 5 or 6 times between then and 6:30am when Stefan got up. Even when I *could* sleep I was dreaming that I couldn't sleep...so I didn't get rested. I dozed until about 8am when Franklin woke up....and I don't have any caffeine in the house! I'm exhausted.

The kitchen isn't CLEAN. It's picked up, half of the dishes are done and all major messes are cleaned up. But there's still STUFF out and junk all over my floors. The living room is fairly clean (I need to spot treat) because I found MORE ANTS last night. (They were hugging the walls all the way from the front door to the dining room...basically an entire side of the house) I sprayed them and vacuumed. We aren't messy people!

If you're one of my readers in a place without fire ants you can't fully understand what I'm dealing with. Not only are these things relentless and annoying, but they STING. It isn't just a random sting either. They will swarm you and then the "leader" will release a chemical compound that tells them all to start stinging at once. Yeah, I'm serious. Did I mention that I'm slightly allergic to them? When Stefan gets stung he has slight discomfort and the typical red area. When *I* get stung it's like being injected with hot sauce and then the entire area swells up. If I get stung on my finger the entire finger will swell up into my hand...within minutes. It's crazy.

80% of my laundry is clean and 25% of *that* is folded....but none is put away. That annoys me. When we were first married we would do all of our laundry at once (laundromat) and then live out of the bin. Now that I have the space and my own washer and dryer you'd think that would change...but nope. We both hate laundry. So it gets put off until we have no clean clothes and then it takes an entire night to get it all folded.

I also get overwhelmed with my spirited son. I've tried giving him plenty of outside time (I even walked up to the park last week...that's 1/2 a mile up a steep hill...pushing him in the stroller and wearing Jonathan) I've tried playing actively inside (we danced a bunch together yesterday) I've tried fighting for naps (and it's a literal FIGHT) I've tried the laid back "whatever" attitude about naps (If he takes one, cool...if not, his loss) I've tried spanking. I've tried time out. I've tried explaining. I've tried diversion. I've tried ignoring. None of it works. Deep down inside I'm afraid he's ADHD or something. This can't all be because he's a spirited toddler. I question my ability to parent.


Plus I'm breastfeeding a newborn. I heard once that full time breastfeeding burns 300-500 calories a day (depending on how often "full time" is for you) Basically, someone 140lbs would have to do high impact aerobics for an hour a day to burn what I do by nursing....AND I'm chasing a toddler. My body is tired. I need to eat all the time. I go through a jar a peanut butter every few days. (High fat and protein) I don't have time to cook (toddler won't let me even if baby is sleeping) I've had to accept that the baby has to cry sometimes in order for me to eat enough to make milk...it's gotten to where I don't really respond to the crying as quickly as I think I should because I'm so used to hearing it.

I'll stop before I start rambling (and the baby is waking back up)

3 comments:

  1. Aw mama. I lived this. The greatest quote I ever heard was by Erma Bombeck: The days are long but the years are short. Quinn and Reilly are 12 and 11, and I PROMISE that it's harder to let them grow and change into young adults. I cry often. These days you're in are grueling, but you will yearn for them when your boys are sweaty and hairy and a little too busy. Hang in there. I wish I was there to fold your laundry and put it away. xoxo

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  2. I'm not the only one?!?! I can relate to so much of this post...sleep deprivation (Edan's been waking up for the day around 5:00), messy house, piles of laundry taking over my bedroom, and the constant eating (my classmates at school have gotten used to the smell of peanut butter all day long). Thank you for sharing your stories - I love reading your blog!

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  3. We will always question our parenting, there Is no one or right way to do this. And there are seasons, sometimes I think some seasons are to strengthen our leaning on Him and just praying through till it passes. And it will. Two things are constant, god and change. Hang in there kas!

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